I must be in a good place now

10: Where am I?

2011-11-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

*Practice bringing your attention to your breath throughout your day, or in mediation, as a way to strengthen your awareness of the present moment.

*From the book, Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children

9: Where am i?

2011-11-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

Surrender to the inevitability of some imperfection

in yourself, your children and your family life *

this one needs less words & more practice.....

*from the book, Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children

8: Where am i?

2011-11-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

question your perspective on your current situation. can you shift it or enlarge it?

are there positive angles?*

halloween 2011

i'm going to go ahead and admit that when it comes to perspective, i am pretty stubborn.

this - more times than none - will work against me majorly.

i am guilty of sometimes seeing a decision or a situation to be only one way.

this is different than being narrow because often times, i can be shifted.

this usually will come from the words of another person talking me down.

but this is a practice i would ultimately like to do myself.

it's a simple reminder -

can i look at this another way?

if i think of it like a camera, how can i open the lens? and let in more light?

this week, i had a tough day with a child in my class.

it left me feeling defeated - can i really do this?

the director of the school reminded me:

-this is my first year

-i am doing my montessori certification at the same time as teaching

-my child is not only adjusting to preschool but

-he is also adjusting to me in the classroom

-and i am literally "working" with my child everyday.

simply put, don't be so hard on yourself.

open up the lens...open up the lens...open up the lens.

*from the book, Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children

happy deepavali!

2011-10-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

"the festival of lights"

while fireworks & candles are the outwardly visible signs of celebration,

deepavali has a deeper significance.

mythologically, it is believed that krishna vanquished an evil demon on this auspicious day.

(triumph of good over evil)

through the symbol of light,

the five day festival asks us to reflect on the possibility of igniting the light within ourselves.

this is the inward journey of facing & dealing with our own inner demons -

like fear, anger, envy, attachment.

this festival also celebrates our innermost potential of light, joy & clarity.

xoxo

7: Where am I?

2011-10-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

oh, yes, where was i?.....

recognise that you can choose where to place your attention, so after you have noticed and observed any negativity, place your attention somewhere uplifting. *

i don't think it was an accident that i was "held up" on this entry.

in the midst of these posts, i was was swept into my new job. my new schedule.

my new life.

(this entails with 17 three to six year olds...mostly boys)

throughout the day,

the head teacher, whom i am apprenticing will say,

"focus on the positive"

"look at the things that ARE happening"

she is referring to the children in our montessori classroom.

since it's only october, there are pockets of time...sometimes HUGE pockets of time that are absolute pure chaos.

this is the time the returning children, new children and the super young children come together and formulate a rhythm. in montessori terms, its called normalization.

slowly but surely, if you look through the chaos, you see the light.

when the classroom truly flows it can looks like those 17 three to six year olds (again,mostly boys) all working on tasks independently. quielty. respectfully of their classroom. and mindfully of the children around them.

focusing on these moments is the important part.

this reminder extends to home life.

which for me has been operating out of exhaustion....

but there are so many positive things happening.

each day, like an onion, i see my little toddler disappearing and this little boy emerging...

and staying.

*from the book Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children

Baking on Sundays

2011-09-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

i started baking with emmett when he was 15 months old (above). we made strawberry yogurt muffins.

it was challenging, i'm not going to lie..... but he had a blast!

two years ago i decided to do "baking on sundays" with him.

we would give away whatever we made to someone...i baked with that intention.

most of the time i didnt know who that someone would be....

i have say, we were pretty consistent that first year....

(and yes, still challenging!)

i looked at this folder of photographs today and can't believe how much he has grown....

(gluten free, sugar free, vegan cupcakes)

making bread for the first time...

cornbread with nanny

lavender pound cake...turned out to be one of our showstoppers!

easter cookies

i have to watch emmett because he will eat raw flour?!?!?

it's always fun to turn the light on and peak into the oven!

and its true, kids will eat what them bake (most of the time). in this case, it was pb&j with bread we made.

peanut butter brownies

our latest creation...jewish apple cake...

happy fall...

xoxo

{this moment}

2011-09-23T19:02:00.001-07:00

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

inspired by soulemama

6: Where am I?

2011-09-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

*Challenge yourself to observe the objects of your surroundings as if for the first time, that is, with Beginner's Mind or a 'spirit of inquiry' -

just as a young child might repeatedly ask the Zen question, 'What is this?"

(i watched emmett discover if he asks someone bigger to ride him,

he can go super fast and not do any of the work)

****

Needless to say, I have been absorbed in this question with the start of my new job.

We've had 8 days of school so far and I can't express enough how thrilling I am finding it.

Challenging? Very.

But I find this unknown territory feeling oddly familiar. I see Emmett and I both feeling our way around the new surroundings.

Some days have been better than others. Some absolutely joyous and some....well, not so much.

There is something about sharing in this new environment together that keeps me in Beginner's Mind.

With challenges, there are also possibilities.

*From the book, Buddhism for the Mother's of Young Children

5:Where am I?

2011-09-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

Entertain the possibility that all moments have value rather than racing through 'unpleasent' moments to arrive at 'pleasant' ones.*

it seems once you are through the baby books, the nursing books, the sleep books, the vaccine books, more sleep books...there are the discipline books.

i've only read two and i have one in the recommendation file of my brain.

i can't say i subscribe to any one thing but i do try hard to be consistent.

i don't think i'll ever forget the first real tantrum i ever saw emmett have.

he was two. it started in his car seat - limbs failing, head slamming side to side on the seat, he was sweaty and tear soaked. his words were completely delusional. the whole thing started out of no where and for no real reason. lasted for every bit of an hour.

a major growing pain for all three of us.

at home, when a tantrum started my instinct was to get away from it. walk away. ignore it.

but i have a friend - (a woman with way more experience at child rearing than me) - convince me i had to walk toward him. into the tantrum. into the madness.

this is absolute pure torture for most us. we aren't wired to hear out children scream.

my nervous system goes into overdrive and sometimes i am pushed to an edge that is frightening.

and it's never very pretty.

i am not always successful but i do try to go into the that unpleasant place.

to let him know that i am there. i'm not leaving. no matter how loud he yells or screams.

this is where we've both landed

and this too, shall pass.

*From the book Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children

4: Where am i?

2011-09-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

On any given day, consider whether you are in touch with the humor, adventuring and mystery of motherhood.*

yesterday emmett got to see his new montessori school and meet his teacher.

he entered the classroom and his teacher let him look at anything he wanted.

emmett was surely intrigued. this classroom looked different than any place he had been for childcare.

i wasn't sure what to expect.

but i was in awe.

he listened to her attentively and handled all the materials gently and slowly.

when we left, he said "i like that place".

the way he moved independently in this new space took my breath away.

i can't really describe it in words.

i felt excited for him and proud.

i was amazed to see how much he has grown, learned and changed in these three years.

this is a new journey that emmett and i will take together.

i've accepted an assistant teaching position at this montessori school and the best part is i get to bring emmett with me everyday. at this moment, i feel so blessed.

this is where i always wanted emmett to go to preschool & kindergarten but i knew we couldn't afford it. this opportunity will allow emmett to go, be with me and in time, i will be a certified montessori teacher.

tomorrow is our new beginning.

(believe me, as we start on this path, i expect bumps in the road. okay, major bumps.

it won't always be like yesterday....hence the 15 other kids.

this will be the closest to a "set" schedule emmett and i have ever had.

i'm expecting serious adjustment time.

i am expecting kicking and screaming to get out the door in the early morning.

i am expecting some major whining of new levels.)

ah, new beginnings.....

* From the book, Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children

3:Where am I?

2011-09-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

ask yourself what you practice if you do not practice awareness of the present and where might a different practice take you? *

i will never forget when emmett was one day old.

i went down to the NICU to see him.

i was terrified of not only being a new mom but a mom to a preemie.

(they don't cover that in the classes).

i was traumatized by his birth.

i was scared. nervous, shaken.

i peeked into that plastic box and looked....

eyes completely wide open. calm. still.

i remember thinking to myself, i had never seen a newborn baby look so aware.

AWARE.

the word rang in my head.

i was astounded. completely astounded.

awareness was something i had studied in yoga.

but looking at him with eyes wide open,

i felt i was seeing awareness in its truest form.

this was his life and he knew no other.

this was his birth and he knew no other.

and i was his connection to everything that came before and everything that will come.

when i was pregnant, i remember someone saying,

"they are who they are from day one".

i couldnt agree more.

emmett's awareness in the world has continued to astound me.

through infancy and now as a toddler.

he still possesses what i saw him on that first day.

his awareness has been a gift to me.

i truthfully feel that i have seen more in the past three years than in my entire lifetime.

maybe not grand sweeping travels but teeny-tiny parts of the world that matter too.

in this way, he has been my greatest teacher.

*From the book, Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children by Sarah Napthali

2: Where am i?

2011-09-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

* practice non-judgemental awareness where you avoid becoming emotionally caught up in your ratings of pleasant, unpleasant and neutral.

this is a big one in our house.

sometimes i find when ian and i have these little slivers of time that are "ours" or i should say, "mine".

i feel the judgement. it lingers like this low level static.

how am i using this time? is this fun? am i relaxed? why is time moving so fast?

i become so focused on time, i try to make the "most" of it.

what does that even mean?

this isn't a conscious thing and its much easier for me to accuse ian of doing it....

but its me too.

i am recognizing my life as not mini compartments of time but really just one big compartment.

i use to think of emmett/marriage/family/art/yoga as these separate little gardens and the only one flourishing would be emmett.

the rest of my "gardens" would be over grown with lots of weeds.

but this is the gentle reminder to myself that is all my life.

one complete garden.

* inspired by Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children by Sarah Napthali

{this moment}

2011-09-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

inspired by soulemama

1:Where am I?

2011-08-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

* allow your children to remind you of how to live in the present.

* Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children, Chapter 1

two years

2011-08-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

okay, we swore it would be every six months....

but it took two years.

kelly and i went on an adirondack adventure that i left us wanting more.

canoeing, hiking...and unstructured coffee time.

*(translation: sitting at a kitchen table drinking coffee & talking ~ AKA : an extremely foreign concept to the both of us now.

we had three days and two nights and during some of these "moderate" hikes, i wondered why two tired mommas weren't just at the spa.

but it felt good to move and breathe and discover a part of my state i wasn't aware of.

though we had a blast alone it was exciting to talk about going back with the little guys.

we are thinking summer tradition, maybe?

Farm Camp

2011-08-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

recently emmett completed his first farm camp...

taught by his daycare teacher at her farm, its a full week camp where kids not only learn about animals but also participate in farm chores.

though he knew some of the children there, many of the children where older.

i sensed right away that emmett knew this was a little different from his regular daycare.

there was more structure and more of a curriculum.

plus, out of the twelve kids participating only two were boys!

****

i feel us coming up on the threshold of a new stage. sometimes, i still see this little baby and on the other times i see this boy. more than anything i want him to play and have freedom to be playful.

this fall, he'll return to daycare a few days a week but i have been thinking about preschool in the back of head. not sure when the right time is to start for him? i've seen him strive in some of these structured environments....(and i use the term "structure loosely") but i also do not want to push him.

he has his whole life to be in school, ya know?

:::emmett learned native americans lived on the land that was now the farm...and about arrowheads.

:::this is "bunny". we got to care for him (or her?) for the entire week....yikes they poo a lot!

:::emmett's pasture

:::blown eggs and spun wool

:::bird feeder

:::fresh air + hardwork = good night sleep.

xoxoxo

last days

2011-08-24T19:37:00.000-07:00

i just returned from a trip with my best friend to the adirondacks...

granted i was two and half hours north of where i live,

i felt that nip of fall just around the corner.

i feel in so many ways, we just got going with summer.

we just settled in, i don't want to leave....

(note::the bow tie)

{this moment}

2011-08-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

inspired by soule mama

Meet us over here....

2011-08-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

Introducing our toddler/preschool craft blog...

http://hensandchickscrafts.blogspot.com/

please stop by, become a follower, post a comment or submit a craft of your own.

we'd love to have you...

peace & love,

jamie + kelly

Around here...summertime

2011-07-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

:::watermelon

:::a visit from our friend ellis

:::a visit to terrain

:::playing with every toy in the house

:::hanging on the river

:::flowers in your hair

(emmett gave me this flower & took this photo himself)

:::my guys

:::from the garden

:::yard sale finds

:::celebrations

:::snow cones

{this moment}

2011-07-22T08:36:00.000-07:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

inspired by soule mama

Steiner

2011-07-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

Into my will,
let there pour strength.
Into my feeling,
let there flow warmth.
Into my thinking,
Let there shine light.
That I might nurture this child
with enlightened purpose,
caring with heart’s love
and bringing wisdom
into all things.

~ R.Steiner

beach adventure

2011-07-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

for me nothing says summer like a trip to the beach....

around here...(again)

2011-06-21T07:50:00.000-07:00

:::making pizza

:::arugula & spinach from the garden

:::orange

:::eyelashes

:::hot pugs

:::big wheels

:::sunday night cake w/chocolate pudding icing

:::the first dip of the summer

:::my knight in action

:::drawing

:::peanut butter chocolate chips

:::finally grew lavender

:::strawberry picking

:::summer knees

mother guilt

2011-06-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

recently ian brought emmett to see me at work and he fell asleep in the car.

we tucked him into the back of the library behind my desk and we let him rest.

the past few weeks have been harder on our family.

i use to be insanely adamant about emmett's routine and lately its been totally crazy.

just inconsistent work hours & days on our part...shuffling him around between home, grandparents and daycare. i know he is fine. (as he is being "shuffled" around, he is totally around people who love him and more often than not, he is probably doing something super fun).

but i still feel bad.

as much as i don't want to believe it, its true - kids really do like a routine.

they like knowing whats happening next.

and i can see this is in his behavior most of the time.

when he is more secure, he is himself.

when he is not, he's usually testing and pushing buttons.

my job initially started out as a want -- i felt ready to work part time but in recent months, its become more of a need and i am no longer in the position to say no to extra hours.

sometimes i feel like entire days go by and i don't see him.

it breaks my heart because that wasn't the vision i had for us.

i wanted to be with him entirely during these formative years.

we made a lot of sacrifices for me to be home the first three years and i am very grateful.

perhaps its just my own adjustment period.

i think its scary for me to think he is floating out from my protective bubble.

i had always heard the term mother guilt but i dont think i really knew it until a couple of weeks ago.

its was like this heavy pang in my heart.

i know he is fine and loved....and we are doing the best we can.

that's all any of us can do.

time just moves so fast, i just dont want to miss anything.

every once in awhile.....

2011-06-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

this past week emmett & i have been on our own with ian out of town.....

all in all it's been a truly nice week just the two of us.
(help from family helps too!)

this is me with emmett on my back before i mow the grass....

during our mow (which is insanely loud), emmett fell asleep in the carrier.

those who know this guy know he doesn't fall asleep randomly.

he proceeded to sleep for 2 1/2 hours and i got to finish up things around the house.

every once in a while a miracle does happen!

{this moment}

2011-06-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

around here...

2011-06-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

:::every superhero needs a reversible cape

(my latest project)

:::my first salad from my own garden

:::emmett's latest creation

:::you can pick it - if you plant it.

::: a birthday crown for rosa

garden practice.

2011-06-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

choose wisely.

2011-05-31T18:36:00.000-07:00

lately i find myself caught in between toddler splendor & his ultimate tests.

up through the mud...

2011-05-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

it's been a slow spring....

a long winter left us and we've had so many days under water.

summer is definitely creeping up.

with me going back to work 25-30 hours a week, its added a new dynamic to our week.

we haven't all adjusted to the new rhythms.

i know it will take time.

i absolutely love my new job.

i'm not sure i've ever had a job i've actually loved.

but its hard knowing emmett has an extra day of daycare now.

and i'm starting to feel spread thin.

which usually means my patience is compromised.

i've been trying to make our days together extra special.

its hard on the days when you have things that "just have to get done".

i'm not sure if one ever feels fully caught up on those things.

there definitely is a lot changing lately.

i can feel it.

i can see it in emmett.

i can see it in us.

maybe its just the constant renewal around me.

the rain makes more green.

and its easier to breathe.

i love living in the hudson valley.

i love seeing the changes in the nature surrounding me.

there is a certain majesty that reminds me how small we are.

ps. this is emmett with his ghost computer/tracker

(also know as the top to the pretzel container)

Keepsakes

2011-05-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

after reading jodi's post, i promptly put this book on my wish list.

then it showed up on my doorstep from my beloved mother-in-law (thank you!)

lately i have been fascinated with cookbooks that compile people's family recipes.

maybe i am just seduced by the photography....

recently i was inspired by Sippi's Strawberry Cake in this cookbook.

it's a collection of recipes from finland, greece, south africa...

there is something about taking a peek into someone's family tradition that i simply adore.

i'd love to make my own!

xoxo

heat/hot/burn

2011-05-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

i'm a fire sign in astrology.

i'm a pitta (fire) in ayurveda.

i'm an ashtanga practitioner, which is all about building heat.

i'm italian by family of origin, which um... can cause me to be more hot headed than steamy.

i love summer.i love visiting hot places.i love spicy food.

my constitution my whole life has been one that is active and busy.

i've always been interested in a lots things. this fuels my fire.

admirable? sometimes.

other times, not so much.

the downside is i start things and don't finish.

i begin with fire and gusto.
with great enthusiasm, excitement and sincerity....

then....burn out.

when i'm tired, i'm fatigued.

a daily practice of any kind is especially hard for me.

yoga, meditation, exercising..

i know the benefits, i preach the benefits -- but i struggle to show up for myself sometimes.

its like i have so much energy to start anew...

but then need major help to sustain myself, my interest.

this spring, i made a pledge to my garden - my new practice.

since 1994, i've lived in cities until we moved to the hudson valley two years ago.

i never had a yard. i could barely keep a house plant alive.

i know very little about gardening but i am still showing up to everyday.

even if its weeding for just five minutes.

for the past four weeks, i've been raking, planting, weeding, mowing, edging, mulching, pruning, thinning, building, reading....

i want to make this my yoga practice, my meditation.

but since taking this vow, i am loving it.

i love the clearing away - the pulling out of dead things.

i love the surprise of what is going to bloom.

i love the cause/effect and the lessons i am learning.

i love how i feel after a good length of time out there.

i love that i am noticing the foliage around me when emmett and i go out and explore.

don't get me wrong, it's still a challenge and i think that is what i like most.

i am constantly challenged to let go of my perfectionism.

it's alive and constantly changing.

i have to adapt to it.

i confront my impatience, my frustrations.

so i guess i found the yoga.

plus working with something green is good for me.

i need that counterbalance.

the watering, the mist.

all of these things are essential.

i can't be fire all of the time.

i have to admit, i started last spring off with a simmilar drive

and then a pile of mulch sat in my driveway all winter.

we shall see...

~~~

and p.s.

spring really has sprung...

with the birth of emmett's first baby cousin...

welcome to this big world!

*casey - i assure you, this is the real, real yoga.

easter!

2011-05-09T20:37:00.000-07:00

oops, i almost to forgot to post our easter pictures....

decorating our easter tree

easter morning...

waiting for our families to arrive for brunch

the best crumb cake ever...

on our way to easter sushi!

and the passage of time...

easter 2008

easter 2009

easter 2010

easter 2011

g pop

2011-04-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

this week my mind has been actively swirling around the impending arrival of our first niece or nephew.

initially i thought i was just keying into the anticipation of the friends and family waiting at the side

lines...mostly because I have been thinking a lot about own son's birth -- and the intensity of his arrival.

i figured, 'birth' was on my mind.

and then this morning my grandfather died suddenly.

now as i recount the week, i wasn't just swirling around in my own thoughts but i believe my grandfather was actually preparing for this. and i have to believe in all our connectedness, that i too, knew the time was here.

words that were said, scenerios that are now explained and a photograph that arrives from a happier time....

yes, this is the circle of life and death. it was actually this wave that i've been caught in - pulling at me.

the only grandparents i ever knew are both gone now.

these last years were hard for him. he never recovered from my grandmother dying and the death of my cousin constantly haunted him.

he was sad. alone and wore a deep depression i hope to never see on anyone again.

shamefully, i wondered if death would set him free.

i dont want to remember him like he was these last few years.

i want to remember his sweetness. kindness. and the quiet love he felt for his family.

i remember this one time at a diner, i admired his belt buckle. and he gave it to me right there. he walked out of the diner holding his pants up.

in the midst of this wave, i often wonder how much we really know each other - especially family. there are millions of ways to stay connected yet, my inclination is that i really dont know many people at all. and do they know me?

emmett got to see my grandfather, (g-pop to him) last week when he was visiting my parents.

i am so happy he got to see emmett. he told my mom how beautiful he thought emmett was.

yes, i wish i had been there but this makes me feel close to him.

i know how much he loved emmett. i know he loved me too.

i'm going to miss him, i love you grandpop.

with emmett at 9 weeks

the corners of our home...

2011-04-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

{this moment}

2011-04-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

inspired by soule mama

Spring Time Vases

2011-04-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

Easter (and spring for that matter) has really snuck up on me this year.

Maybe its because its still cold here.

But Emmett and I did manage to make these spring colored sand vases for the house.

all you need are jars, glue, tape and colored sand.

take a look....

we started with some clean jars....

i used some painters tape to make an "edge"...

the colored sand its self was the most interesting part for emmett!

we applied mod podge but you could use plain glue as well....

emmett was really good at sprinkling the sand on the jars....

they dry quickly outside....

peel the tape off and its done!

baby cakes....

2011-04-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

yum.

egypt

2011-03-24T18:14:00.000-07:00

anyone who knows emmett knows he loves all things egypt.

and until this day, he only heard of this place called "the MET"

the place with lots of egypt treasures.

we finally made it there.

happy st. patrick's day!

2011-03-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

we've been preparing for "leprechaun day" for awhile....

making our "traditional" cookies...

on monday we hosted a st. patrick's inspired play date....

our traditional cake....

* i actually made it chocolate this year from a new recipe called "busy day chocolate cake"...

it came out great and was super fast & easy....

plus it was vegan.....(not so much for the icing though...)

making shamrock ornaments

our first real sign of spring!!!

winter, winter go away.

2011-03-06T19:39:00.000-08:00

a common topic around here lately is the weather.

okay...more like the last month...

everywhere from our house to strangers in the grocery store --- people are commiserating.

i've tried to stay positive but this has been a long one.

or maybe its just a normal winter but we got off light last year.

snow is good, being at home is good and yes, the darkness can be good.

but freezing rain, wind, black ice, layers upon layers, cabin fever.....

um, these are challenging elements for our crew.

it's a fact.

but it hasn't been all bad, i looked over our winter photos and saw some exceptional memories.

i thought id share.

in the meantime, give me light - give me spring.

decorating our tree

we've got a lot of art around here -

so we decided to make emmett his own portfolio case from big pieces of recycled cardboard.

we then decorated it as a family....

making christmas garland

ahem....

making our solstice lantern inspired by little acorn

solstice 2010

feeding the birds in our neighborhood

my peace & joy banners

meeting baby bruno

our epiphany cake

wet on wet painting

insane sledding

taking emmett to see real mummies

my future archeologist

seeing art with dad

baking with mom

ice cube painting

seeing elizabeth mitchell perform!

i love you....

2011-02-15T06:38:00.000-08:00

maybe it was all snow days or cabin fever (!)...

but we really got into valentine's day this year. i absolutely love marking holidays with the seasons. i think it gives children their own sense of time moving and things around them changing.

here is a glimpse of our month..

homemade playdough ornaments inspired by the magic onions

lots of red icing left over from our chinese new year cupcakes!

heart garland

banner inspired by the sweetest things

valentine's celebration at our waldorf school

our valentine's nature table

(we put out our snowdrop for hopes of an early spring too!)

inspired by something i saw last year on design sponge...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

the year of the rabbit

2011-02-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

a few pictures from our chinese new year potluck at our neighbors house......

we made the red cupcakes!

we incorporated some oranges onto our nature table...

Emmett's Kindergarten Birthday Celebration

2011-02-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share a few pictures from Emmett's birthday celebration at his school. We've had so many snow days out here that his celebration kept getting pushed back but at least it was still in January! In the Waldorf kindergarten, a birthday is a really special day for all the children.

Emmett wears his birthday crown

His teacher tells the children Emmett's birthday story

Emmett blows out his candles!

Emmett and I baked star cookies to bring in for a birthday treat

Emmett's teacher & the children gave him special drawings that we hung up at home

Each child brings in a branch or green from their home to make his

winter birthday arrangement

Three times around the sun!

my little guy....

three is the magic number

2011-01-18T19:20:00.000-08:00

i can't believe he is three.

on one hand, i feel i have lived and felt each and every day ---

some joyous, some not-so-fun --- but none the less, fully present.

on the other hand, i look at him and can't believe how much he has changed, grown, developed in three short years.

i still remember every detail of his infancy like it was yesterday.

now i see this personality exploding - (sometimes literally!)

and i have to admit, its pretty amazing to watch -

sometimes hysterical, sometimes just shocking.

i thought i would share some pictures from emmett's pirate party....

(and pre-party build up).

xoxo

emmett & i turn our broken crayons into snowflakes for our party bags

boxes of gold for our party bags

i made each child a pirate pencil case inspired by The Creative Family by Soule Mama

i made emmett a birthday banner

pre party set up

goodie bags!

i made emmett's favorite flavor: "brown"

(my favorite recipe from America's Test Kitchen)

pirate shirt made by daddy

we ended up having ten kids!

his new castle from mommy & daddy

finally a picture with his birthday crown i made!

(inspired by The Creative Family by Soule Mama)

mummies are emmett's favorite!

(thanks uncle tyler & auntie chelsea)

his favorite present...playmobil egypt

my sweet boy...

{this moment}

2011-01-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

inspired by soule mama

winter time...

2011-01-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

winter has swallowed us up...

stay warm

xoxo

gratitude!

2010-11-30T10:29:00.000-08:00

it seems as emmett gets older, each holiday sparks more and more interest.

it also gives us a framework for coming up with new activities...especially as the wind and cold pick up outside.

the "family art table" is a favorite activity we do together and its super easy!

this time, we set out to make thanksgiving cards for our family.

we covered the table in butcher paper & drew together....

we then switched seats and added materials.

paint was a real favorite for emmett!

the next day we our pictures down to 8x10" and made mounted them onto construction paper.

each "piece" has a little of all of us in it ~

we then walked to the post office & mailed our cards.

****

it's hard to keep a toddler engaged in long art activities, that's why i personally love to do things in stages. we can keep coming back to the original idea (in this case it was being thankful for our family) over and over.

my favorite autumn

2010-11-28T18:08:00.000-08:00

one of my favorite things we did this fall was make bird feeders.

i am always keeping my eyes open for activities that i can successfully do with a two year old.

this was simple and he loved it.

(inspired by little acorn learning)

peanut butter!

i actually think the squirrels ended up eating it but thats okay.

emmett's fall crown was inspired by twig & toadstool

(the only thing i did different was i used mod podge to preserve the leaves)

the flip side

2010-11-24T06:10:00.000-08:00

the flip side to the toddler antics are the special moments we share in between the chaos.

i love you mommy.

i love us.

i love our family.

mommy? i love you.

happy gratitude.

i am so thankful.

falling

2010-11-09T18:53:00.000-08:00

we've fallen out of the blogsphere for the past few weeks.

its been a rough road in two year old land.

especially the last week when emmett was struck with a stomach bug.

that bug caused two emergency room visits and a slew of doctors appointments.

but all is well now, thankfully.

nothing disturbs the routine quite like an illness.

nightwaking = cranky toddler + cranky parents

we've clearly hit a rough patch.

growing pains for the both of us, i think.

new behaviors, new disciplines....

then some really bad behaviors and some severe lack of patience.

it has felt like emmett and i have both been twirling around and trying to figure out where to land.

i sympathize with his struggles for independence....testing the boundaries.

i myself, have felt the need to break some of the mold.

being home with emmett has been a complete blessing. in a million ways.

but yet, i cant deny that i have been immensely challenged.

staying put is not something i typically did pre-baby.

i carefully arranged my life so i always had the ability to travel freely and make my work.

in these recent weeks, i have been grappling with this notion.

and as i sit with it, i wonder where it will take me next.

how do i strike the balance?

in the midst of all this pondering, ive watched the most magical fall unravel.

leaves changing so vibrantly...

and just when i thought it was over, they would change into deeper shades.

as much as i love all this change around me - the transition,

the long, cold,dark days of winter are quickly approaching.

ive decided to use it as a time to focus on my home -

physically, mentally, spiritually.

the year in our house has flown by --

there are countless projects we never tackled, corners of the house that still need to revived.

our home routine with emmett can definitely be reworked.

and then...the harder stuff -

the untangling of what i want home to represent within myself.

from the trenches....

2010-11-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

"i'm not a baby, i'm a toddler!"

the toddler boy

2010-10-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

over the past year,

we've had our far share of undesirable behaviors...

i.e.: hitting, pushing, grabbing and (wince) biting!

its hard place to be - the hitter, the victim or the referee (mom).

i think as a parent its often difficult to figure out the best place to stand.

Of course, no one wants anyone to get hurt but there also is this fine line of toddlers simply figuring things out -- namely socially. What is okay and what is not.

But in the playdate situation i feel like moms are hovering around the children...waiting for one false move. Myself include.

If i even walk into the kitchen for one second, he could ATTACK!

i'll be honest, it leaves me exhausted.

one minute he is my sweet little angel and the next he is a fierce piranha. or one minute everyone is quiet and innocent ....and the next my child is getting tackled or hit in the face with a plastic saw.

how big of a deal do we make it?

recently in one of my parenting books,

i read about toddlerhood being the most violent stage of growing up.

at first i thought that was crazy!

now, i see its normal.

so yes, another phase...

we are still here.

goodbye...

2010-10-07T18:51:00.000-07:00

as beautiful as fall is

summer is always hard for me to let go of...

here are a few moments from the heat i'll miss ~

xoxo

sweaty hair

birthdays

hot air balloons

lakes

bountiful csa boxes...the best tomatoes ever!

knitting in the car because emmett won't nap inside (or transfer from car)

lunch delivered to me in the car by husband

sandy feet

freezing oranges

skateboarding

driving tractors

painted feet

nature walks

exhaustion

homemade juice

best friends parties

blessing of the animals

2010-10-03T18:21:00.000-07:00

i can't believe its been a year already since our first animal blessing with cecil at

woodstock farm animal sanctuary.

we loaded up in the brisk fall air and hung out with some animals.

this place is really special...all these rescued animals now live in paradise.

good food, love & lots of room to roam.

harvest

2010-10-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

often times as parents its really easy to get caught in the tangled up thought process of

what-could-i-have-done-differently-today?

how should i be handling these tantrums??

why won't he eat vegetables???

when will he be out of this phase????

of course, these questions always seem to arise when i'm dead tired and feeling less than optimistic.

our latest farm adventures have me thinking of these things in a new light.

these tiny beings are our gardens.

are we taking enough time to celebrate our harvest?

there are days when i am truly in awe of emmett.

when i see him unfold into these sweet little person.

we don't give ourselves enough credit.

every lesson learned comes from us

and when i see him laugh, smile, cuddle and um....share (!) with someone,

i'm reminded.....

its nice to celebrate the fruits of our labor once in awhile!

this morning, emmett hugged the both of us at the same time and said, "my family".

xoxo

{this moment}

2010-10-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

inspired by Soule Mama

Our First Michaelmas!

2010-09-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

inspired by my All Year Round book

(and some of my favorite blogs)

we celebrated out first Michaelmas.

the archangel Michael, is one of the principal angelic warriors, scene as the protector of the dark of night.

a wonderful explanation can be found here.

i consider our little family to be more spiritual than religious so we latched onto some of the qualities i thought were especially important to us.

being brave -- trying new things -- slaying our inner dragons -- making changes --
balancing the light with the dark...

especially as we head into autumn.

yes, this can seem like a heavy duty holiday for a two year old....

but we had a blast with preparing and the imagery.

first daddy drew us a dragon...

then we cut it out of paper & painted on it

we took a nature walk to collect some leaves

leaves everywhere!

then we mod podg-ed our dragons to make them a little more durable.

have you used mod podge?

its a water based sealant and adhesive. think decoupage.

(check out my friend Amy's site, she's an expert!)

our leaves drying....they'll soon be preserved!

i happen to have some pepperidge farm pastry sheets in my freezer....perfect!

(did you know its vegan?)

daddy cut us out our dragon.

we added some of the apples we picked, pumpkin seeds & raisins.

and a little sugar and cinnamon....

our dragon & leaf banner

family dinner was a success!

yum.

xoxo

The Autumn Equinox

2010-09-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

when you live somewhere as beautiful as the hudson river valley, its kind of hard not to get excited for fall. (i can't believe we have been here for a full year now!)

the leaves are changing and falling rapidly.

i'm afraid if we wait and don't get outside we will miss it!

in celebration of the autumn equinox emmett and i took a walk to the lighthouse....

we made a cake for the forest with some treasures we found on our walk.

emmett even sang happy birthday...

at home we made bread inspired by eilleen at little acorn learning....

"its done!"

(he loves to watch with the light on in the oven)

emmett & i made two loaves and passed one onto our neighbors...

(a sunday tradition)

it's true! kids really will eat things they've made!

(even the picky eaters like mr. emmett)

our fall nature table

apples, pumpkins,corn, hay, goats, cows & doughnuts

2010-09-18T18:47:00.000-07:00

its suddenly fall....

and as much as i adore summer, fall is beautiful.

(i do brace myself for winter, i must admit)

today emmett & i took a trip to a local farm to check out the autumn festivities.....

reflections

2010-09-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

i keep reading different places how september is the month of reflection.

when summer falls away toward autumn.

a time to look back over the year so far and think about what is ahead.

its funny, as soon as the air shifts, i start to have that

"first day of school feeling" again, ya know?

when i would wait in the foggy, chilly morning air for the bus but still have the warmth of the summery afternoons (the last to hold on).

in many ways, reflection is an appropriate word for the start of fall -

and i always like a new start...

inspired by our chilly mornings &

little acorn learning

emmett & i did apple stamping and made homemade applesauce ~

"mommy these apples are heavy!"

i stamped with a pear...

emmett helped clean up...

"i smell apples!"

passing it on....

2010-09-11T19:04:00.000-07:00

recently i have found myself amongst many soon-to-be-mommas.

isn't it funny how it seems to come in waves?

i truly enjoy hearing each woman's experience with their pregnancy...

their anticipations....their registry!

i would love to share all my secrets i have learned along the way.

as a new mother, i often thought, "now why didn't anyone tell me that??"

of course, experience is truly learned first hand but...

a heads up about somethings would have been nice!

there have been a few mementos that i have saved through the past two years.

onesies, books, blankets...

i've sealed them up and packed them away.

my intention has been to pass them on to close friends and family.

(i'm a little sentimental, can you tell?)

recently i came across the above photograph that i took while at the jersey shore when emmett was 6 months old.

i also just passed this onesie on to my dear friend (and oldest friend) Stephanie who will deliver her baby in december.

i told her how we bought this onesie on our first plane trip with emmett when he was 3 months old to california --- we found it in Joshua Tree State Park, a very special place to us.

three months later, he'd actually wear it.

this photographed reminded me of this super great week we spent at the beach that summer.

six months was an age when things started to get really fun - and interactive.

he wasn't just sleeping and eating...

he was smiling, laughing, playing, sitting and rolling on his own.

(i was also tolerating the sleep deprivation much better).

this was also a trip that i couldnt get him to nap in his crib and

had to walk in the stroller for two hours without stopping....

blisters, i tell you! but we wont get into that...

blessings to the babies ~ xoxo

fall?!?!

2010-08-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

the past few days have felt like autumn is creeping up.

but wait!! we just settled into summer!

we've just got going.....

family art table

2010-08-23T17:04:00.000-07:00

inspired by soule mama's the creative family

weak/week

2010-08-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

i love to use this blog space as a place of gratitude.

a place that i can reflect on the beautiful moments of the passing days.

even in the hysteria, its nice to think back over the day and pick out the highlights.

its also nice to go over what did get done instead of the millions of things that didn't get accomplished.

but...

i'm not going to lie.

this week was hard.

hard in a way that i remember sleep deprivation feeling.

= not fun.

i'm just exhausted.

truly & completely.

and perhaps emmett and i are both tangled up in growing pains?

our daily rhythm in changing.

for a while it flowed quite nicely but now its switching.

i pray for patience, yes, i need even more.

and he simply wants to do by himself.

"I WANT TO DO IT!!!"

Behaviors i agonized over months ago start to fade and a new set flows forward.

i know the drill but it never ceases to amaze me.

for now, i try to get to bed early and not expect so much of myself.

(thats easier said than done but i am trying.)

summer time....

2010-08-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

and swimming holes.

tiny helper

2010-08-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

we have clearly entered into the "i want to help!" portion of our toddler program.

i have to admit. its so fun to watch.

i love to see how his little fingers figure things out.

yes, its hard when i really do need to wash dishes...

but totally worth pushing the house work aside and relish in these teachable moments.

and did you check up the big boy unders?

i can't believe we are in the midst of potty training & doing very well!

:::patience

2010-08-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

a day with no patience & a toddler is a bad combo.

a really bad combo.

i'm tired but mostly sad.

i couldnt muster up any patience today.i knew i needed to slow down, breathe and pay attention

but i didnt feel like it.

i felt selfish and then sad for being selfish.

why wont he play on his own? what does he need help with now? can't he just give me a second?ugh....if i hear "mommymommymommymommymommymommymommy"

one more time, i may just lose it....

these are the thoughts swarming around my head today.

nothing too different than a normal day but i was in some sort of mood that i couldnt stumbled out of ~

i feel exhausted and well.... impatient...

he's two, he needs me - he needs A LOT of help -- he wants to play with me because he loves me.

its hard to run away and hide under the pillows when you're a mom...in fact you kinda can't.

i think that gets the better of me some day.

so there's my confession for the day.

the boss is in bed now

and i'm going under the covers.

tomorrow is another day.

Guruji

2010-08-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

the long awaited book by one of my yoga teachers is finally here...

a beautiful tribute.

sutra study 1.2

2010-08-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

yogascittavrittinirodaha

Yoga is the cessation of the turnings of thought

Sutra Study 1:1

2010-07-28T19:24:00.000-07:00

1:1
atha yoganusasunam

Now begins the authoritative teaching of yoga

take a hike!

2010-07-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

::: while emmett was at camp, jasmine & i hiked to the top of overlook mountain, something i've wanted to do since we've moved here.

(photo:http://www.flickr.com/photos/boens/2856645291/)

::: jasmine surprises me with lunch, so nice to come back to....i was so grateful.

it also gave me some ideas about what do with that purple cabbage from the csa....hmmm...

::: we pit stop at the puppet show the big kids put on from emmett's school.

he acts a little crazy there & you can see why....

Monday Monday

2010-07-26T18:49:00.000-07:00

::: our third and final week of waldorf camp. emmett's teacher captured this moment two weeks ago (pre haircut!). the camp has been great for him, he is outside the whole time, i truly love that about the waldorf curriculum. he comes home exhausted....yes, cranky sometimes too....but i know its good for him. he's happy & off to bed early!

"mommy, i'm in my kitchen and you are in yours"

::: our nature table has some new arrivals....a "giraffe" stick emmett found on our walk yesterday to the lighthouse & an origami bird the "big kids" made at camp

::: a favorite cookbook (thanks casey!) and a favorite dish ~ Pondicherry Lentil Salad

(there's a link in my bookstore on right)

((hot)) summer sunday....

2010-07-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

happy sunday -

emmett & i have spent the last seven days close to home and close to each other. i feel like he's finally back to his old self....that would be his old-extremely-active self.

so happy to be home.

:::nature walk to the lighthouse

:::frozen orange cups inspired by childhood magic

:::eating while watching cars go by (a new ritual)

::::dinner outside for mom & dad

(greek orzo salad ~ from How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, its in my bookstore on right)

honorable mention

2010-07-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

wahoo! yay!

i received an honorable mention at the annual edible food sculpture party....

and to think, my own husband wouldn't collaborate with me!

{this moment}

2010-07-23T18:08:00.000-07:00

seek & find

2010-07-22T12:19:00.000-07:00

this is my first week back after a 5 day/4 night adventure.

emmett has never been away from me that long before

& he's never been with only dad for that stretch of time

i thought for sure, he's be fine....

but he wasn't.

he was really sad.

ian had a really hard time - lots of crying, testing and not sleeping.

"momma i was looking for you."

2 years old has been an interesting ride....

but 2 1/2 has been really emotional.

yes, there is a difference.

one of my books described it as,

"i don't know what i am feeling but i'm feeling it!!!" stage.

emotions are bubbling to the surface and the ability to process them is not there yet.

"mommy i was sad you left. i was crying and my eyes were red."

this is by far the most emotional talk we've ever had

& i was profoundly amazed at his ability to verbalize this.

he is a rapidly growing being and he really needs me.

i know i need my time, it makes me a better mom for sure...

sometimes it works out &

sometimes the price is high.

the last five days we have been discovering our rhythm again.

keeping the days cozy and close to home.

it hasnt been an easy 5 days - that's for certain.

(he literally wouldn't let me out of sight for two straight days)

but i'm home now -

and when we were sitting outside this morning he said,

"mommy i love you. i love all of us"

my favorite etsy....

2010-07-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

i love etsy.

its my go-to for all things handmade.

when i think about what we need..

i think, can i find it handmade?

can i find it used?

and most important to me --

can i find it in the USA?.....not imported from a sweat shop.

i strictly adopted this practice when we moved into our home a year ago.

i try really hard to find items that are manufactured here --

and sadly its often a challenge ~

but usually when my search is finally over, i've had a good long chance to decide if we really really need something.

and a lot of the time, i dismiss it.

yes, i am a pack rat but i despise cheap junk.

this principle keeps me out of the local target.

flying bird botanicals is one of my all time favorite etsy shops.

they have the best-really-all-natural baby products

and an amazing lavender calendula body lotion.

worth every penny.